fun with africans

so i mentioned a lil bit before on a post that i've been emailing these africans about some sort of bullshit scam. i've been having a pretty good time with it. i'd like to post it all, however, there are so many emails going back and forth it's just so much text. but i myself find it hilarious. i heard that one guy on npr fucking with them and laughed my ass off. so i finally got my opportunity when "mother jane" contacted me as being sick but her husband died in katrina leaving her with millions but she's dying and wants a good soul to have the money to open a "motherless children rescue" it goes on and on. she got me in touch with this guy, barrister frank smith. i call him barista smith. i pretty much write the most retarded thing i can think of without going completely out of control and wait for their reply. i can send more to your emails if you want, it's really too much to post here i think.... here's a clip from last week's episode:

Dear Barista Smith,

Hello my name is Roland Deschain. I was contacted by
Mother Jane recently. I have had her in my prayers
for the last few days. I pray God will find a way to
unwind the pain she has in her rectal areas due to the
grief brought on by the ways of the hospital stay. I
know what it is like to be bedridden in a hospital.
When I was a child I had a fever, my hands felt just
like two balloons. Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain you would not understand, this is not
how I am. I am a humble genetically enhanced man. I
am not sure what it is that I can do to help out.
Mother Jane said I should contact you and together we
could start a project dealing with the words and
wisdoms of our Father, the chosen one, of sector nine
in the ways of true retardation. It is quite amazing
actually that this has been happening to me since I
had just finished reading The Secret. Please give me
the information I need to start pleasing you in the
ways of old ways. My father is ill, like Mother
Jane, and I wish that God would send us all rainbows
covered with chocolate happiness. There is so much
evil in this world with the gays, blacks, and killer
bees, but I know God is here to save some of us from
the retched inbred cocker spaniels that plague us with
their golden locks and long eyelashes of deceitful
promises built together with wax and gingerbread. I
want to start a business here in the United States for
making pickle bread. It is a home recipe I got from
my grandmother. It is made with dill dough. It is
amazing to see the look on someone's face the first
time they have tasted the dill dough on their tongue.
It is a moment that refreshes my faith in God and his
glory of heaven and clouds and Jerry Garcia. Peace be
with you Barista Smith, I long to hear your voice and
touch your hands with mine in the holiest of holies.
God Bless....

Roland